Real Talk

First let me preface this by saying that I've had some dental work lately that is making me extra grumpy...and also makes me feel really old talking about my dental work.  Things have been a bit hard around here lately with our 4 year old.  Nothing out of the norm...just new to us.  As I've said before, Millie refuses to play by traditional potty training rules.  I refuse to even think about potty training Syd until I feel like Millie has it down 100%.  She never full-blown poops her pants, but on an almost daily basis, there's enough in there that I have to throw the panties away.  I seriously buy panties every time I go to walmart.  Thank goodness for Garanimals 10 pack for $4.95.  After a full year of dealing with this, I had gotten to the point of really showing my frustration and practically shaming her every time we had to throw panties away.  Every single expert will tell you that this is the absolute wrong way to go about it.  Positive reinforcement not only works the best to get results, but it also helps them not think about going potty in a negative way or holding it or creating unhealthy habits.  Yes, I'm a reader, I know all of these things but your instinct is to show them how disappointed you are and there have been times that I've wanted to rub her face in it like a puppy.  So this week it all came to a head.  Millie was sick this past weekend; not sure what it was, just some sort of bug that made her vomit a lot and no appetite.  Apparently the next phase of the bug was diarrhea.  I didn't know that though.  I thought she was just pooping her pants a little, like she normally does.  After the third time in a few hours, I started crying.  Like sobbing.  I'm just so so tired of having my face *this close* to her bottom covered in poop while cleaning her up.  In the middle of bending down to clean her up, I noticed she had sucked down another tube of My Little Pony toothpaste and hid it under our bathroom counter.  I sobbed harder.  I'm pretty sure I scared her.  I decided right then that whatever I've been doing....all of the negativity and shaming and disappointment....wasn't working.  Time to try something new.  I got out the Reward Chart and she gets an X every time she poops in the potty.  After she gets a row of Xs, we can go to Chuck E Cheese.  She's very excited about it, but this is soooo hard for me.  I want to get all technical about it.  For example, she often poops a small amount in her panties then goes and finishes the big one in the potty.  Then she wants an X.  I'm thinking "but it doesn't count because I had to throw your panties away".  I'm trying really hard to keep those nuggets to myself though.  Positive Patty.  Fake it til you make it.  If you see me in person, go ahead and give me a hug.

Yesterday, we had another incident that involved a bottle of bubbles dumped all over the sunroom rug and Syd's head.  If you've ever tried to get bubbles out of a rug, you know this is impossible.  It just keeps bubbling up and I don't even know where to go from here.  I was just telling Amanda this morning how proud I was of myself for walking straight out into the sunroom and calmly sitting them in timeout.  Again...those instincts can be overpowering.  I so badly wanted to grab them up and bust those little bottoms.  But I didn't.  That moment came later when they were jumping off the back of the couch and someone was going to snap a leg bone. Gah!  Parenting is so hard.  My mom always comments on how often we are out of the house.  These two little paragraphs explain why.  If we're home, I feel like they get into trouble and I yell.  If we are out of the house doing an activity or at the pool or park, then they can play and be kids and I can relax more.  If you see me anytime soon, go ahead and give me a hug.  Can you see the sticky mess that is Syd's hair in this bottom pic?!